When I was in Taiwan, I developed a dream. It was a grand dream, well-cared for, nurtured every day with food, pop culture, music, and language, and thrived in its environment, becoming a large creature full of life and verve.
But the dream shrank as it met American life. The old habits, old ways of thinking stifled it somewhat, and a lack of drive and enthusiasm drained it slowly of life, until it was just the most recent of the dusty things on a shelf in some far way corner of the dreamer’s mind.
I had a dream to go to Korea. It was so strong it consumed me from within, pushing me towards itself with vigor. But it did fade. It’s still there, and it is still my plan – but it’s changed and shrunk a bit. Before, I thought Korea would be my end, my future permanent home. Now, I’m not so sure I want to stay there forever. I love things in America, and my family’s here.
It upset me when the dream faded. I was scared that I had lost a good deal of my passion for life inside it. I couldn’t get excited about anything. But I think it was a symptom of my transition period – without a cause or purpose I was just floating, and my dreams suffered for it.
Fortunately, I started school, joined the Korean Club at my University, and that all changed. Having people who share my dream has breathed new, fresh life into the dusty artifact. I’m eager and excited to move to Korea, and spend a lot of time researching study abroad programs, summer language courses, and teaching programs.
And now that I’m excited about my dream again, I’m more excited about life in general. It feels nice to have that energy back. Once the ball starts rolling, it just keeps going! Huzzah! I’m hoping things like diet and exercise will catch onto the ball too and sort themselves out…but, baby steps, right? Baby steps…